I like writing things under the topic of spiritual vs. earthly, and this is yet another entry dealing with this topic.
For awhile now, I've really been pushing hard for my two older children, young sons of 7.5 years and 3.5 years, to learn the difference between lip service and true love and faithful obedience. This is something on which all of us in God's Church should also meditate carefully.
I've always been a really loving person, very family-oriented. I value family time more than increasing in wealth. I would always want to talk and play games with my family when growing up, though I never got nearly enough. Ironically,I ended up choosing to spend more time by myself in my bedroom or outside in the woods, either reading or enjoying nature and meditating, rather than watch fruitless television shows. That was their idea of spending time together, day after day, hour after hour, and it never made sense to me, because although I don't mind watching interesting movies with my family now, it's because we watch things that we can talk about, and we do discuss them. We also spend only a small portion of our time doing such things. Watching hours of tv each evening together is not the same as interacting with each other.
My mother always told me that I told her, "I love you" too much and that the meaning lost its luster, because I wore it out. I certainly was not thinking in those terms. I really did just love her and wanted the same kind of love back.
Later, I married my husband, and the strangest thing happened. He told me one time that I say, "I love you" too often. He said something like, "You just told me a few minutes ago." This was TWICE I'd been told this by two different people. I was hurt. I have always been sincere in my love, and I didn't think anything of my frequent vocalizations of it.
Fast forward a few years later. My younger son, 3.5 years of age now, is a Jekyll and Hyde. He can be very sweet and loving, or he can be very raging and hateful. I'm working very hard to teach him to tame his spirit, to "have control" over it.
Well, he says, "I love you" a lot. Sadly, he also has many times screamed "I hate you," and that is something none of the rest of us ever say (and hopefully not think). In his case, he does a lot of lip servicing. He'll say that he loves, but he won't obey. Now, I did a lot of rebellious moves in my teen years, so my vocalized love toward my mother would have been in part lip service, but it didn't have to be that way. Neither of my parents made any moves to be close to me in my teen years. Neither of them had any interest in being my friend. I thought my mother was my enemy; she certainly acted like it. They had no problem sending me to a public school where I was surrounded by other rebellious teens who hated their parents, and some even told me that my mother was a bitch.
Looking back on it all now with a lot more knowledge and wisdom, my parents, whether knowingly or unknowingly, actively supported my dying love and disrespect for them in my adolescent years by approving of the system and setting me in it and never making time to have a deep meaningful relationship with me, because watching fruitless sitcoms was more important. They never even talked to me about the books I read, the music to which I listened, the friends I had at school, or what I was learning at school.
My son Trusten's constant vocalizing his love for me, when it stands with obedience, isn't botheresome to me. The number of times he says it does not aggravate me when he's being well-behaved. However, when he's in a streak of evil, and he tells me that over and over, I feel angry.
I meditated some on my own habit of frequently speaking words of love. I needed to be sure that there was no lip service going on. When I realized that I was clear of any guilt, I used the difference as a teaching tool for my children. When I ask them how they know that I love them, I say:
"Is it because I tell you many times in the day that I love you?"
At first, the answers were affirmative. So I asked something like:
"What if I said that I love you all throughout the day every day, but I called you awful names and beat you and hurt you, and I didn't feed you or I just let you as a child eat whatever you wanted even if it was junk, and I didn't care about you taking a bath and brushing your teeth, and I didn't care about you learning anything, and I let you play with knives, and I let you go wander off in the woods by yourself....
"Would you believe that I loved you, even though I said it?"
The answer, of course, was a NO!
So I asked how did they know I really love them. "Hugs, kisses, reading, toys, clothes, food, etc."
I explained that I also knew that I was loved back by hugs and kisses and trust and obedience. Whereas a parent shows love in providing basic needs, protection, and law, a child shows back that love by trusting and obeying. I remind my children of this over and over. It's a long process in making sure that when they reach adulthood, they will be fine neighbors, fine citizens in society.
Through all my meditation, I realized that vocalizing the words, "I love you" is another one of those things that fall under "physical reminders," this particular thing being a reminder to others, though if you show the love, it's not nearly as important to say it. A person can say it, just use lip service, but show that they do not by their deeds. Another person can show their love and never even say it, but others will know they're loved by that person. For more on outward show vs. the real deal and how it relates to the old carnal covenant vs. the new spiritual covenant, read my study Old Covenant Carnal Showings.
I don't see myself ever ceasing to remind others that I love them, because I know how the human heart and mind is, and I know others like to be TOLD--reminded in this way--that they are LOVED. The more important thing, though, is that I never stop showing it with my actions. Saying it has benefit ONLY when backed by truly showing it, much like Paul said that circumcision of the flesh only has benefit when the heart is truly circumcised.
Our Lord Salvation does not even have recorded words of, "I love you" to any of us, but it is recorded that he said, "No greater love hath a man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." He did that for us. He showed his love to us. He never said, "I love all of you who will follow me in the years to come." We KNOW, however, that he does love us by what he did.
God provides us with all our needs, and He provided our brother, His Firstborn, our Lord Salvation to give us grace through the shedding of his blood. Those of us who truly love God back do so by trusting and obeying Him. Those who do things the way they see right in their own eyes, including worshipping God the Father the way they see fit, may love God to a point, but they do not love Him more than they love doing what they want. That is what I always tell my boys when they do something they were told not to do. Sometimes the excuse is even made that it was done because they love me, because it was a good act. But, if it SEEMS like a good act done for the parent, but it clearly transgressed a command, then it's not a good act.
This is how many who claim to love God do when they keep their seemingly good traditions, like Christmas, Jan. 1, and Easter, etc. It transgresses the law of God, and most of them KNOW it, but they love those things MORE than they love God, so all they can do is just use the excuse, "But, we did it because we love you," just as I've heard from my own children, (in this case,more from my firstborn), even when he or they knew it would break a rule that we have. A quick example would be my son helping me in the kitchen by using a knife to cut up a fruit or vegetable. We have a rule of NO knives without permission and supervision, and yet he has taken it upon himself before to take the knife and start cutting, but then he said, "But, I was being good; I was helping you." If it's against a command, it doesn't matter how good it seems to be. It's WRONG. That is what the Lord Salvation will tell the children of disobedience. The Firstborn knows what makes the Father happy, and we should follow in our Lord's footsteps.
Is it said of you by the Lord, "He/she honors me with his/her lips, but his/her heart is far from me?" (Matt. 15:3, 7-9).
I do honor God with my lips, but my actions back up what I say, and I openly invite him, as David did, to SEARCH my heart.
What about you, dear reader?
No comments:
Post a Comment