This is something I've been talking to with my firstborn son Jaden William. Another thing upon which I've meditated for quite some time is whether I should call him by his first name. He went by William from his birth until about a year and a half ago, when he desired to be called the shortened "Will." I had not liked Will before, just because I didn't like the "sound" of it, but it ended up being okay. Then probably about ten months or so ago, he requested that he be called Jaden. I'd originally wanted to call him Jaden, but his father thought it sounded like a girl name. He was going to be named Jaden regardless of whether he was a boy or a girl, because the name means "thankful" or "God has heard," because God answered my prayer by allowing me to conceive and bring forth a healthy baby after suffering a miscarriage with my first pregnancy. William is the middle name of my husband, and I liked that name. My husband also likes the name, and he has continued to call him William.
It was during the pregnancy of my fourth-born child and first daughter, Olivia, now nearly eight months of age, that my son requested to be called by his first name. I told him I didn't want him changing back and forth and that I would call him by what he likes out of respect toward him, but I didn't want him to change his mind again a few months down the road. Though I'd always liked "Jaden" and had originally wanted to call him that, I then did not want to do so, because I realized an important message with the names of my three living children (including the baby I was carrying, which I knew via God's Spirit was a girl I was to name Olivia)--Will[iam], Trust[en], and [O]Liv[ia]. God's will is for us to trust in Jesus so we shall live. It would be a constant reminder to me.
I've been explaining to William that what often seems like love toward him by others is really just things they do for him or toward him so that they will gain his [ignorant and unknowing] child favor, even if those things are not truly loving, as defined by the Law of God. So, I started thinking perhaps even I, in calling him Jaden, have tried pleasing him too much. Now, I'd had that thought from the very start, when I agreed to call him that, because I thought, "It may be thought that I'm catering to him too highly," but I truly felt like I was doing the respectful thing. For months, though, I've been torn between continuing to call him Jaden and Will/William. I've called him Jaden mostly or simply "Jade." I now have decided to stop predominately calling him by Jaden. I don't think it's meant to be, as I continue to be tormented in spirit by it. He's supposed to be called Will. That's what I believe.
He's been upset that I've not called him Jade/Jaden, but I truly love my son, and that is the correct thing to call him.
So after all my instructing on true love vs. deceitful love, about which there has been much to say, I found myself in somewhat guilt, thinking the name issue has indeed fallen under this.
Some of the things I've recently taught my children concerning true love vs. deceitful love is when someone gives them food that is health-harming but tastes good, since some food that tastes good is really bad. It's deceitful food. I've also taught about deceitful smells and feels. Other things include letting children engage in dangerous activities or see inappropriate movies. They may think the adult is loving them, but it's a deceitful love. What about giving them too many toys? This is another deceitful thing, because it teaches them to love things more than people.
Of course, there are many other examples, and it doesn't apply only to adults toward children. There are many forms of deceitful love out there. Many people are deceived into thinking false love is real love and that true love is a deceitful love. Many think God's Law is a wretched thing, when truly it shows love that a Good Father has for his children.
The next time you feel loved, stop and ask yourself. Is it a true act of love or a deceitful one? Can you tell the difference?
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