I watched an awesome movie this week, Running Brave. Actually, I watched it twice. A close brother in Christ and co-worker, Keith, gave it to me as a gift and told me to teach my son the lessons I found therein. (Thank you again.) Following is a report on the movie (if you plan to see it, you might not want to read this until afterward, but if not, read on):
Billy Mills won the 10,000 meter Olympic track race in 1964 at Tokyo, taking home the gold medal for the United States, and is the only American who has won a gold medal in that race. But, what is greater than that is that Billy Mills is half Sioux Indian (Native American).
Billy grew up in poverty on the Pine Ridge Reservation in South Dakota. His mother (white) died when he was nine, and his dad died when Billy was twelve. When he had asked his dad whether he liked to fight (his dad boxed), he responded to Billy, "I like to win," and that a person needs to find something at which they can win, "You have to win at something."
Billy loved to run. He ran all the time and felt as if he was one with everything when he ran. He attended high school in Kansas in the 1950s and broke several track records. The track coach of Kansas University went to see him, but when he found out he was an Indian, he complained to the high school coach and said that Indian boys had a natural talent of running well but that they were quitters and drunks. He'd seen it all before. Billy walked up and defended himself, making it clear that he was no quitter and wanted to run for him at KU.
He ended up getting the scholarship to go to KU. He was only the second one from the reservation to ever get a scholarship to college, but the first guy quit after just three weeks. Billy was scared to go to the university, but at the same time he wanted to "prove I can make it in the white world." When he got to the university the coach emphasized to the guys from the very start that they were to do it his way and his way only. The coach pushed Billy, and Billy started out winning all the races. He also did the right thing by passing up offers of alcohol from his college pals. He probably realized that he had a predisposition to alcoholism, because he was Indian, and he didn't want to become a drunk. He met a girl, too--Pat--and started seeing her.
It wasn't all cherries and honeycomb, though. Billy constantly had people calling him "chief," "that Indian boy," and other racial slurs. He also was not allowed to become a member of a fraternity, because he was Indian. At one point he attacked a fellow teammate after a race, after the guy made a nasty remark. The coach pulled him back and sternly told him to ignore the comments and that he could run all over that guy. Billy would write letters to his sister, and they would start out sounding discouraging, because he everything was such a challenge. He had to study so hard and so late and he was the only Indian on campus, except for one girl, "but she's fat." He'd always say at the end of his letters, though, "Don't worry," because he was going to be okay and make everyone proud of him. He would list the problems, but each time he seemed intent on overcoming them.
During one race, Billy slowed down toward the end, even though he still won the race. There was another Indian on the other team. The coach confronted him later about it and rightly accused him of doing so as not to embarrass the other Indian so badly, who was next behind him. Paraphrasing, "You're never going to get to the Olympics, if you don't quit easing up at the end. Don't feel sorry for the other Indian. Next time, you don't see him as an Indian. You see him as another competitor." [Going to the Olympics was Billy's dream.]
His coach seemed to only want to rack up points, and he gave promises to people that he'd make it to the nationals. Billy had an enormous amount of pressure on him, and he felt as if the coach didn't seem to care about Billy but only about himself and his coaching career. He wrote to his sister that he'd lost his love for running and he felt like just a machine, but he said once again, "Don't worry," because he had support from his girlfriend and he was confident he'd "find that spirit again."
He was placed at number five in the NCAA, and a reporter asked him whether being number five had anything to do with being Indian (the gall). He cleverly answered, "I'm half-white, too. I'm not sure which half loses. Do you?"
His girlfriend Pat's parents were not happy when she told them that she was with Billy, because, as she put it, "Maybe they are a little bit prejudiced." He said, "What the hell do you know about prejudice?" So, she informed him that she (a middle class white girl) was what he wanted, so he had to deal with the problems that came with her, even prejudiced parents. So, he did. He wrote and told his sister that he and Pat were thinking of getting married and expressed disappointment that she was not going to be able to go visit him with his other family and friends, including Frank who'd gone to live with Billy and his dad after Frank's own parents had died, and who finished rearing Billy after his dad died; and Eddie his friend with a bad attitude. Billy was staying at Pat's house while her parents were gone, and when his visitors arrived, they were initially excited to see him, but things quickly turned around. Eddie acted very angry and made rude comments about the nice house and how he just wanted to go have some fun. He and the two women left after ten minutes and talked Frank into leaving, too. Billy tried talking Frank into staying, and he pushed Eddie and told him to leave. Frank stopped them from fighting, and Eddie said, "That's okay. It's not the first time I've been pushed around by a white man." Eddie and the two girls acted as if they didn't want Billy to improve his life, and they said they didn't belong there and left. Frank, too, finally said to Billy that they were probably right, that they didn't belong there. Following THIS is when Billy started messing up. He came in 3rd place in his next race and then went on to lose the following two races. His coach told him after the first race, "You quit." After one or two more, he said, "You're quitting. You already have." He told Pat that during the whole time he'd been at KU, that whenever bad things happened that made him question why he was there, he'd always been lifted up by knowing he was there because he "won races." He said, "But, now I'm not," so he wondered why he was there and started thinking about going back to the reservation. Then the guy with the insurance company that sponsored his scholarship got on to him and said that he'd better win the next race or he'd risk losing his scholarship.
He then asked Pat to run away with him, even if it meant they might live in a trailer park somewhere and scraping to get by. He was sick of being Billy the runner and Billy the Indian. He didn't really know who he was. He was looked down upon among the whites, because he was Indian, and he was rejected by his own family and friends for being like the whites. When Pat shook her head and told him she didn't understand, he drove off, and he ended up going back to the Indian reservation. He told the coach right before a track meet that he was doing what the coach had always said he'd do--quit. Coach Easton told Billy he'd never be a winner, and he knew it. He claimed that's why he always told him to stay running in front (Billy had liked "coming from behind"), because "only winners come from behind."
Back on the reservation some children recognized him as the famous Billy Mills. A little boy had his sports card with his picture. He asked Billy whether he was going to the Olympics and that, "You'd better." His friend Eddie acted glad to see him and welcomed him back home, now that he was away from white land. But, Eddie still had a bad attitude. He wasn't what I'd call the optimal friend. Frank was drunk when Billy saw him. Frank pretty much stayed drunk.
While the two were fishing, Frank told Billy that Frank's dad had always told Frank he'd never go anywhere. Frank had always wanted to go to Paris, because he was a really good artist, but he listened to the, "You'll never go anywhere or be anybody" talk, and he said it now was too late for him. He told Billy that it wasn't too late for him and that he needed to leave. I think being at the reservation again with drunk Frank and bad attitude Eddie got him to having second thoughts about his choice to go back there. Plus, he missed Pat. It did feel good, though, to be "home" and run again. He got his love of running back. His sister had saved back newspaper articles and other mementos in a scrapbook and showed Billy. She asked whether he was going to the Olympics and said that everyone on the reservation had always wanted someone to be something, to make something of him or herself. Following that he got a note and money from Pat telling him to come back. He then found Frank dead from a suicidal gunshot wound to the head, surrounded by demented drawings of a depressed soul on the walls.
So, Billy left the reservation again and went to the Marines. He already had his degree, and the Marines gave him a chance to focus on running so that he could go try out for the Olympics. He married Pat and then qualified in the Olympic trials. He and two other Americans were there to represent the US. He was not considered as a potential winner. One of the other Americans had a hurt foot or leg, and the American coach talked to that guy as if he was their chance to win and just told Billy to "hang in there." The commentators said also that Billy wasn't "seen as a threat" in the event. Ron Clarke from Australia was everyone's favorite. Clarke is noted for setting 17 world records (but never won an Olympic gold medal). He'd set records during the time Billy was in KU, and Coach Easton had posted a newspaper picture of Clarke and told the guys to aspire to Clarke's achievements. During the 10,000 meter race (over six miles), Billy kept near the front, along with Clarke and Mohammad Gammoudi of Tunisia. They all kept switching positions for first place. It was a very exciting race, since everyone was surprised that Billy was among the frontrunners. During the last lap:
"Mills and Clarke were running together with Gammoudi right behind as they entered the final lap. They were lapping other runners and, down the backstretch, Clarke was boxed in. He pushed Mills once, then again. Then Gammoudi pushed them both and surged into the lead as they rounded the final curve. Clarke recovered and began chasing Gammoudi while Mills appeared to be too far back to be in contention. Clarke failed to catch Gammoudi but Mills sprinted past them both. His winning time of 28:24.4 was almost 50 seconds faster than he had ever run before and set a new Olympic record for the event. No American had ever won the 10,000 m before Billy Mills did it (Wikipedia, s.v. "Billy Mills").
Coach Easton had seen the news in the paper that Billy was going to the Olympics that year, and he went to Tokyo to see him. He walked up to Billy after the race to congratulate him, and he said, "That's the greatest race I ever saw a man run. I'm honored to have worked with you."
***************************************
Running Brave detailed a fine based-on-a-true-story example of a man who overcame his hardships and poor circumstances and became a winner. It also demonstrated that even after a person is "in the race," heading for his or her goals and doing a fine job of dealing with trials that could knock a person "out of the race," it can take just one event that deals a hard enough blow to cause a person to want to give up. Very often, it involves a person or persons very close to us--family and/or close friends. In Billy's case, he kept overcoming his trials--the racial slurs, the exclusion in clubs, his coach's selfishness--until his family and friends rejected him. Perhaps without realizing it, they were trying to bring him back down to their level.
A Christian Race
God's election race for his called and chosen ones is the same way. We can't let anything stop us. The Apostle Paul said:
Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain. And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible. I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beateth the air: But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway (I Cor. 9:24-27).
Family and Friends
We must overcome whatever trials come our way and overcome the sins that we inherited from our families, tribes, and nations. We must run the race as if there's only one winner. If we fail, we will be a castaway. Some of us will sometimes take a really hard blow that will appear to keep us down for good, but if the goal is really that important to us, we will get back up and get back in the race. That is what Billy did. His family and friends made him feel bad. They were supposed to be those closest to him, and yet they were the ones responsible for discouraging him to the point where he nearly failed. He started to give up. He went back to his old life. BUT, the game wasn't over yet. He decided to get back up again and do what it took for him to reach his goal (going to the Olympics), and he didn't stop there. He won that 10000 meter race and won the Olympic gold medal for the US.
It's too often in the lives of those who "keep the commandments of God and have the testimony of Jesus Christ" (Rev. 12:17) that family and friends are their biggest obstacle. It's what holds them back the most.
Jesus said, "If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple...whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple" (Luke 14:26, 33).
Billy's coach told him that was the best race he'd ever seen a man run and that he was honored to work with him. How would each of us like to hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord (Matt. 25:23)?"
Gentile vs. White
Being a Gentile among Israelites is also an obstacle for many people. Billy Mills was half Gentile living in a "white [Israelite] world." He overcame many of the gentile ways to better himself. We just had a half gentile, half white man elected to be the next president of the US. The majority of blacks and other minority gentile races in our nation do not really want to overcome their gentile ways. They expect to be treated equally without conforming to our ways. God's law records over and over that within an Israelite nation that claims to be under God, that there is ONE LAW for both Israelite and Gentile--the same law applies to both. He also said:
Also the sons of the stranger, that join themselves to Jehovah, to serve him, and to love the name of Jehovah, to be his servants, every one that keepeth the sabbath from polluting it, and taketh hold of my covenant; Even them will I bring to my holy mountain, and make them joyful in my house of prayer: their burnt offerings and their sacrifices shall be accepted upon mine altar; for mine house shall be called an house of prayer for all people. The Lord Jehovah which gathereth the outcasts of Israel saith, Yet will I gather others to him, beside those that are gathered unto him (Isaiah 56:6-8).
ALL people, whether Israelite or Gentile are offered salvation, and MANY Gentiles have been called in this lifetime to see the truth since Christ's death, whereas before his death few Gentiles took hold upon God's covenant. We live in a time where the Gentile minorities basically think the white people owe them something, all the while they as a whole are still living in their vile ways. It has become so bad that more whites are acting more like gentiles than whites. Our president-elect is another example of a gentile (half) conforming to the white's ways so that he could become something and live decently (howbeit not God's way, but the majority of the white population isn't living that way, either). The small percentage of people in minorities, such as Billy Mills and president-elect Barack Obama have had to fight a tough battle, because they are still looked down upon by whites (shame on those whites who do this), but their own peoples hate them for acting white. There are those who will even KILL a "rebel," because they aspire to live to white standards.
Those like Billy Mills, because what his father taught him, realize WHY the whites are so blessed, and he decided to overcome that. Then there are those like his friend Eddie who want to just talk badly about white people while continuing to make the wrong choices. Likewise, there are blacks (President-elect Obama is half black) who spew hatred toward white middle class America, expecting equality while they deal drugs, don't attempt to talk properly, spew forth profanity, walk like they broke one of their legs, rape women, rap immoral trash, and shoot people. They just don't seem to get it! But, in nearly every family, tribe, and nation, there are the FEW who do recognize the problems in their families, and they strive to overcome. And good for them!
On the other side of the coin, you have some whites who live more like gentiles, and so that's how they act and decide to live. Some people have no drive, no desire to do the best they can in their circumstances. God wants ALL people to be free and equal, but only if they live according to His way. (The Western World's high standard of living, or at least what we did once have--hygiene, generosity, good agriculture, good health, family values, etc.--is based on the laws in the bible, whether anyone realizes it or not. We are failing, though, as this once-Godly nation is falling away and doing away with his laws more and more every day.)
I give a two thumbs up for Billy Mills and also for the makers of Running Brave.
***********************************************
Billy Mills' given Lakota (Sioux) name is Makata Taka Hela which means "love your country" or more traditionally translated, "respects the earth" (RunningPast.com). I definitely think Billy Mills has lived up to his name. Do you?
Quote from Billy:
"My life is a gift to me from my Creator.
What I do with my life is my gift back to the Creator."
And so it is for all of us.
Billy is now a public speaker, and he also is the spokesman for the nonprofit Running Strong for American Indian Youth. The website is here: http://www.indianyouth.org/
Friday, December 19, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Naughty or Nice? Someone is Coming to Town?
I was telling my mother in an email this morning that I gave gifts to my children (and to my husband and sister) this year for the Feast of Trumpets, one of the great feasts of God. It was the first year I'd done this particular thing. Somewhere along in the lesson I taught that day, I asked my older son whether he liked getting gifts. Of course, the answer was yes. Who doesn't like to get gifts? I then explained to him that after the seventh trumpet sounds and the saints rise to meet Christ, that those saints who earned rewards (gifts) will then receive them at that time (some will have rewards and some not--I Cor. 3:4-15; Rev. 22:12).
I then went on to tell my mother that they're free to give gifts to our children for the Feast of Trumpets next year, since we do not do Christmas (she was not asking us to celebrate Christmas, and we've not celebrated it for years now, but rather I got on the subject a different way).
And then I said, "So, if the boys are well-behaved and deserving of rewards, they'll get gifts from us next year on Trumpets, too (I think "Santa" stole the idea of naughty and nice from the truth and added it to his holiday)."
Did you notice the last part? Does that bring to mind an old song commonly sung among children during this time of year? I'll copy and paste it from a lyrics site:
You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town
He's making a list
And checking it twice;
Gonna find out Who's naughty and nice
Santa Claus is coming to town
He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake!
O! You better watch out!
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town
Santa Claus is coming to town
Hmmmm....this "Santa" fellow, whom we all know really does not exist, supposedly rides in some sort of chariot (sleigh) pulled by reindeer and takes gifts to good children who deserve them. He does this on the night before Christmas (formed by two words: Christ and mass [meaning "death"]--so in other words Christmas means "Christ death." Odd how so many think they're celebrating a birth...).
There is no Santa Claus who sees children when they're sleeping and knows whether they've been "good" or "bad" and goes to give gifts to them out of his chariot's (sleigh and reindeer) cargo.
BUT, there is a real Christ, and the bible says that there are good children of God the Father who will receive rewards. He can see us and knows whether we've been "good" or "bad."
He's the one REALLY coming to town. He's coming in "chariots of fire" (much more advanced vehicle than what the mythological "Santa" has--Isaiah 66:15) and will have rewards stored inside.
The biblical holy day that foreshadows this great event is the Feast of Trumpets. "Christmas" is not found anywhere in the bible and is a name the Catholic church gave to the heathen holiday "Day of Sol Invictus" (day of the invincible sun). Before and when Christ returns, which will fulfill the Feast of Trumpets, this is what will happen to the Catholic church and its leader:
Therefore shall her (Catholic church) plagues come in one day, death, and mourning, and famine; and she shall be utterly burned with fire: for strong is the Lord God who judgeth her (Revelation 18:8).
And the beast was taken, and with him the false prophet that wrought miracles before him, with which he deceived them that had received the mark of the beast, and them that worshipped his image. These both were cast alive into a lake of fire burning with brimstone (Rev. 19:20).
So, the next time you hear that old song, "Santa Claus is Coming to Town," remember that he's a fraud but that there is someone REAL soon coming to visit to punish the "naughty" and reward the "nice":
And the nations were angry, and thy wrath is come, and the time of the dead, that they should be judged, and that thou shouldest give reward unto thy servants the prophets, and to the saints, and them that fear thy name, small and great; and shouldest destroy them which destroy the earth (Revelation 11:18).
I then went on to tell my mother that they're free to give gifts to our children for the Feast of Trumpets next year, since we do not do Christmas (she was not asking us to celebrate Christmas, and we've not celebrated it for years now, but rather I got on the subject a different way).
And then I said, "So, if the boys are well-behaved and deserving of rewards, they'll get gifts from us next year on Trumpets, too (I think "Santa" stole the idea of naughty and nice from the truth and added it to his holiday)."
Did you notice the last part? Does that bring to mind an old song commonly sung among children during this time of year? I'll copy and paste it from a lyrics site:
You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town
He's making a list
And checking it twice;
Gonna find out Who's naughty and nice
Santa Claus is coming to town
He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake!
O! You better watch out!
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town
Santa Claus is coming to town
Hmmmm....this "Santa" fellow, whom we all know really does not exist, supposedly rides in some sort of chariot (sleigh) pulled by reindeer and takes gifts to good children who deserve them. He does this on the night before Christmas (formed by two words: Christ and mass [meaning "death"]--so in other words Christmas means "Christ death." Odd how so many think they're celebrating a birth...).
There is no Santa Claus who sees children when they're sleeping and knows whether they've been "good" or "bad" and goes to give gifts to them out of his chariot's (sleigh and reindeer) cargo.
BUT, there is a real Christ, and the bible says that there are good children of God the Father who will receive rewards. He can see us and knows whether we've been "good" or "bad."
He's the one REALLY coming to town. He's coming in "chariots of fire" (much more advanced vehicle than what the mythological "Santa" has--Isaiah 66:15) and will have rewards stored inside.
The biblical holy day that foreshadows this great event is the Feast of Trumpets. "Christmas" is not found anywhere in the bible and is a name the Catholic church gave to the heathen holiday "Day of Sol Invictus" (day of the invincible sun). Before and when Christ returns, which will fulfill the Feast of Trumpets, this is what will happen to the Catholic church and its leader:
Therefore shall her (Catholic church) plagues come in one day, death, and mourning, and famine; and she shall be utterly burned with fire: for strong is the Lord God who judgeth her (Revelation 18:8).
And the beast was taken, and with him the false prophet that wrought miracles before him, with which he deceived them that had received the mark of the beast, and them that worshipped his image. These both were cast alive into a lake of fire burning with brimstone (Rev. 19:20).
So, the next time you hear that old song, "Santa Claus is Coming to Town," remember that he's a fraud but that there is someone REAL soon coming to visit to punish the "naughty" and reward the "nice":
And the nations were angry, and thy wrath is come, and the time of the dead, that they should be judged, and that thou shouldest give reward unto thy servants the prophets, and to the saints, and them that fear thy name, small and great; and shouldest destroy them which destroy the earth (Revelation 11:18).
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
A Fun Post
I'm posting two posts today. This is a fun post. My friend Meg "tagged" me. (Her blog: http://thewitknit.blogspot.com) So, this is how the game goes:
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them.
5. Let each person know they've been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.
My list of six random things about myself:
1. My name is written in the World's Largest Logbook (aviation/pilot logbook) in Oshkosh, Wisconsin.
2. I love pizza, spaghetti, and lasagna. I just can't decide which of the three is best.
3. I've always very badly wanted to travel to Greece.
4. I have a large scar on the back of my right hand--a burn--and another one on the wrist, which I think nothing about, but years ago people used to ask me about it all the time.
5. Of all the paid jobs I had (many and varied), I preferred most of all working for myself, which I enjoyed the most and made the most money for my time ($50+ an hour).
6. My favorite car is a red '69 Corvette Stingray.
Most of the people I know who have blogs right now have already been tagged, I think, so I'll just leave this as it is.
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them.
5. Let each person know they've been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.
My list of six random things about myself:
1. My name is written in the World's Largest Logbook (aviation/pilot logbook) in Oshkosh, Wisconsin.
2. I love pizza, spaghetti, and lasagna. I just can't decide which of the three is best.
3. I've always very badly wanted to travel to Greece.
4. I have a large scar on the back of my right hand--a burn--and another one on the wrist, which I think nothing about, but years ago people used to ask me about it all the time.
5. Of all the paid jobs I had (many and varied), I preferred most of all working for myself, which I enjoyed the most and made the most money for my time ($50+ an hour).
6. My favorite car is a red '69 Corvette Stingray.
Most of the people I know who have blogs right now have already been tagged, I think, so I'll just leave this as it is.
Thankfulness
If I'm one thing, I'm very thankful. I wonder so much of the time, "Just how is it that I'm so blessed?"
I could be sitting over there in Africa, starving to death and diseased with HIV, malaria, or any number of other illnesses. Thank you Father that I am blessed by birthright to live in the United States of America.
I could be homeless somewhere in America and be shivering to death in this horrifically cold weather. Oh, thank you so much Father that I have a warm house and that my family is warm.
I could be destitute and not have enough food to eat, but I'm thankful that all our dietary needs are provided for us.
I could be friendless and lonely, but I'm blessed with family--both physical and spiritual families--and overwhelmingly blessed with the most wonderful friends. Thank you Father.
I could be suffering from an unloving or abusive husband, but instead I have an awesome husband who loves me very much and works hard to provide for me and who continually reminds me of my value to him. And even though he's not on the exact same page I'm on in spiritual (and other) matters, he's highly respectful of me and trusts me. Thank you Father.
I could have seriously ill or severely misbehaved children, but my children are relatively healthy and well-behaved and are sweet most of the time. Thank you Father for these precious sons.
I could be without transportation, but I have legs, a bike, and a Jeep, which is more than billions of people have. Thank you Father for these blessings.
I could be still blinded to the true Gospel and be living in the deception of the masses. Thank you Father for calling me to see your truth, which I love and desire to obey.
I could be stricken with cancer in this excessively cancerous society, but thank you Father that I am fine, as far as I know.
I could be sitting in jail or prison like thousands of others who don't belong, but for now I'm free. Thank you Father.
I could be blind (and probably AM considered legally blind--), but I have help to see. Thank you Father that I live in a time of scientific advancement, the modern age of miracles, so that I can see all the beautiful people whom I love and all the beautiful things that have been created.
I could be deaf, but I am blessed with excellent hearing. Thank you Father that I can hear the voices of those I love and the voices of those who sing and the sounds of nature.
I could be damned to die, to be dead forever and never raised to life again. THANK YOU, Father for the grace I am given through your Firstborn Son's blood sacrifice and his priesthood.
I don't deserve any of these blessings. Even if I was my own judge over my whole life's activities, I'd damn myself to die. I don't deserve all my blessings. I surely don't deserve God's grace. But, He gave these things to me, because He loves me. Thank you so much, Father for your goodness.
Forgive me for complaining when I open my cabinets or refrigerator and think, "None of this sounds good." And please pardon me when I gripe about the floor being cold. I'm sorry. I know I should be thanking You instead for the warmth in relation to outdoors. And I apologize for feeling sorry for myself whenever I wish I had friends in the Church who lived closer to me. At least I do have friends who are close enough to visit sometimes, and I am blessed with many friends in the U.S., Canada, and even other nations with whom I can email and talk to on the phone. Forgive me when I complain that my husband could try to act a little better, when I should just keep praying. It could be a lot worse, and he really does love me and is good to me. I'll try not to forget how blessed I am to have my children the next time one of them makes a mess, screams in anger, or disobeys. And the next time I complain about having to wear plastic on my eyes that has been soaked in who-knows-what, I'll remember once again that it's better than not being able to see beauty and not being able to take care of my duties.
Thank you Father for all the good things you have done for me.
I could be sitting over there in Africa, starving to death and diseased with HIV, malaria, or any number of other illnesses. Thank you Father that I am blessed by birthright to live in the United States of America.
I could be homeless somewhere in America and be shivering to death in this horrifically cold weather. Oh, thank you so much Father that I have a warm house and that my family is warm.
I could be destitute and not have enough food to eat, but I'm thankful that all our dietary needs are provided for us.
I could be friendless and lonely, but I'm blessed with family--both physical and spiritual families--and overwhelmingly blessed with the most wonderful friends. Thank you Father.
I could be suffering from an unloving or abusive husband, but instead I have an awesome husband who loves me very much and works hard to provide for me and who continually reminds me of my value to him. And even though he's not on the exact same page I'm on in spiritual (and other) matters, he's highly respectful of me and trusts me. Thank you Father.
I could have seriously ill or severely misbehaved children, but my children are relatively healthy and well-behaved and are sweet most of the time. Thank you Father for these precious sons.
I could be without transportation, but I have legs, a bike, and a Jeep, which is more than billions of people have. Thank you Father for these blessings.
I could be still blinded to the true Gospel and be living in the deception of the masses. Thank you Father for calling me to see your truth, which I love and desire to obey.
I could be stricken with cancer in this excessively cancerous society, but thank you Father that I am fine, as far as I know.
I could be sitting in jail or prison like thousands of others who don't belong, but for now I'm free. Thank you Father.
I could be blind (and probably AM considered legally blind--), but I have help to see. Thank you Father that I live in a time of scientific advancement, the modern age of miracles, so that I can see all the beautiful people whom I love and all the beautiful things that have been created.
I could be deaf, but I am blessed with excellent hearing. Thank you Father that I can hear the voices of those I love and the voices of those who sing and the sounds of nature.
I could be damned to die, to be dead forever and never raised to life again. THANK YOU, Father for the grace I am given through your Firstborn Son's blood sacrifice and his priesthood.
I don't deserve any of these blessings. Even if I was my own judge over my whole life's activities, I'd damn myself to die. I don't deserve all my blessings. I surely don't deserve God's grace. But, He gave these things to me, because He loves me. Thank you so much, Father for your goodness.
Forgive me for complaining when I open my cabinets or refrigerator and think, "None of this sounds good." And please pardon me when I gripe about the floor being cold. I'm sorry. I know I should be thanking You instead for the warmth in relation to outdoors. And I apologize for feeling sorry for myself whenever I wish I had friends in the Church who lived closer to me. At least I do have friends who are close enough to visit sometimes, and I am blessed with many friends in the U.S., Canada, and even other nations with whom I can email and talk to on the phone. Forgive me when I complain that my husband could try to act a little better, when I should just keep praying. It could be a lot worse, and he really does love me and is good to me. I'll try not to forget how blessed I am to have my children the next time one of them makes a mess, screams in anger, or disobeys. And the next time I complain about having to wear plastic on my eyes that has been soaked in who-knows-what, I'll remember once again that it's better than not being able to see beauty and not being able to take care of my duties.
Thank you Father for all the good things you have done for me.
Monday, December 15, 2008
A Perfect Father's Attitude Toward His Child
I talked yesterday about the lack of proper fatherly instruction and presence in so many of our households now, which I believe is the BIGGEST contributor to the downfall of our Israelite nations (US, Britain, Canada, Israel [Judah], etc.).
But, even the BEST human fathers who have tried their hardest to overcome the sins of their families and to do the best for their sons and daughters still fall short. No one--father or mother--is perfect.
There is only One perfect Father to whom we have to look. It is THIS Father to whom we need to look for perfect love, instruction, and presence. And it is His relationship with his Firstborn Son from whence we should learn the proper way so that we can apply it to our households.
Our Heavenly Father has left instruction on how a son should be:
My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart keep my commandments: For length of days, and long life, and peace, shall they add to thee (Proverbs 3:1).
And in the actual law (Torah, first five books of the bible, sometimes called the Pentateuch):
That thou mightest fear Jehovah thy God, to keep all his statutes and his commandments, which command thee, thou, and thy son, and thy son's son, all the days of thy life; and that thy days may be prolonged...And thou shalt love Jehovah thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words [the law God gave us], which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up [in other words, LIVE your lifestyle by God's law throughout the whole day] (Deut. 6:5-7).
If we are begotten children of God [if we have been begotten of the God Spirit], then we should love our Father and show that we love Him by our obedience, and if we have children, we are to teach them to live the same way.
Our Father gave us His law through His Son, because He loves us, and His law (rules) are good (don't you make rules for your child out of your love and welfare for him and for the safety and respect of others, too?):
And Jehovah commanded us to do all these statutes, to fear Jehovah our God, for our good always, that he might preserve us alive, as it is at this day (6:24).
Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding. For I give you good doctrine, forsake ye not my law (Proverbs 4:1-2).
The apostle Paul, whom the many falsely accuse of teaching against God's law reiterated the two previous scriptures when he said: Wherefore the law is holy, and the commandment holy, and just and good (Romans 7:12).
How does our Father feel about children who love Him so much that they try their hardest to obey and please Him? Let's start with the perfect child, the Most High's Firstborn, who walked in a temporary fleshly tabernacle without sin, Jesus the Anointed:
During Jesus' baptism: And lo voice from heaven, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased (Matt. 3:17).
During Jesus' transfiguration: While he yet spake, behold, a bright "cloud" overshadowed them: and behold a voice came out of the "cloud", which said, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased; hear ye him (17:5).
God loves His children and hopes that none of them perish (decide to stop loving and obeying Him and so eventually lose His Spirit--spiritual abortion):
Even so it is not the will of your Father which is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish (18:14).
Examples of other Spirit-begotten children with whom our Father was pleased (through the word of the Son, who was the one to actually speak with all servants of God):
Moses: And he said, Hear now my words: If there be a prophet among you, I Jehovah will make myself known unto him in a vision, and will speak unto him in a dream.
My servant Moses is not so, who is faithful in all mine house. With him will I speak mouth to mouth, even apparently, and not in dark speeches; and the similitude of Jehovah shall he behold: wherefore then were ye not afraid to speak against my servant Moses? (Num. 12:6-8).
Abraham: And I will make thy seed to multiply as the stars of heaven, and will give unto thy seed all these countries; and in thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed; 5 Because that Abraham obeyed my voice, and kept my charge, my commandments, my statutes, and my laws (Gen. 26:4-5).
David: But now thy kingdom shall not continue: Jehovah hath sought him a man after his own heart, and Jehovah hath commanded him to be captain over his people, because thou hast not kept that which Jehovah commanded thee (I Sam. 13:14).
And David my servant shall be king over them; and they all shall have one shepherd: they shall also walk in my judgments, and observe my statutes, and do them (Ezek. 37:24).
And he walked in all the sins of his father, which he had done before him: and his heart was not perfect with Jehovah his God, as the heart of David his father (I Kings 15:3).
All children of God should love their Father the same way which all children of God in the past have loved their Father, which is the same way Jesus did:
My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous: And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for our's only, but also for the sins of the whole world. And hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments. He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But whoso keepeth his word, in him verily is the love of God perfected: hereby know we that we are in him. He that saith he abideth in him (Jesus) ought himself also so to walk, even as he walked (I John 2:1-6)
Our Father loves us and gives us good law, just as we say we love our children and say that we give them good rules. We naturally want our children to love us back by following those rules so that all goes well. And what we really want is for our children to be as righteous as they can be so that we can reward them. Most parents ENJOY rewarding their children. Our Father has promised to send rewards with the Firstborn, so that when the Firstborn returns to establish our Father's Kingdom, those who deserve rewards will receive them.
And behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work shall be (Rev. 22:12).
And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea. And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful. And he said unto me, It is done. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely. He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son. But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death (Rev. 21:1-8).
None of us have had perfect earthly fathers. Some of us have had better than others, but none have been perfect. And most of us wish we'd have obeyed our parents more so than we did. Those of us who are children of God have the opportunity now to love a Father who IS perfect, and we have the opportunity to obey His perfect law to the best of our ability and serve it with our HEARTS.
Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded (James 4:8).
Love God with all your heart, and he will reward you from his heart.
But, even the BEST human fathers who have tried their hardest to overcome the sins of their families and to do the best for their sons and daughters still fall short. No one--father or mother--is perfect.
There is only One perfect Father to whom we have to look. It is THIS Father to whom we need to look for perfect love, instruction, and presence. And it is His relationship with his Firstborn Son from whence we should learn the proper way so that we can apply it to our households.
Our Heavenly Father has left instruction on how a son should be:
My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart keep my commandments: For length of days, and long life, and peace, shall they add to thee (Proverbs 3:1).
And in the actual law (Torah, first five books of the bible, sometimes called the Pentateuch):
That thou mightest fear Jehovah thy God, to keep all his statutes and his commandments, which command thee, thou, and thy son, and thy son's son, all the days of thy life; and that thy days may be prolonged...And thou shalt love Jehovah thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words [the law God gave us], which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up [in other words, LIVE your lifestyle by God's law throughout the whole day] (Deut. 6:5-7).
If we are begotten children of God [if we have been begotten of the God Spirit], then we should love our Father and show that we love Him by our obedience, and if we have children, we are to teach them to live the same way.
Our Father gave us His law through His Son, because He loves us, and His law (rules) are good (don't you make rules for your child out of your love and welfare for him and for the safety and respect of others, too?):
And Jehovah commanded us to do all these statutes, to fear Jehovah our God, for our good always, that he might preserve us alive, as it is at this day (6:24).
Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding. For I give you good doctrine, forsake ye not my law (Proverbs 4:1-2).
The apostle Paul, whom the many falsely accuse of teaching against God's law reiterated the two previous scriptures when he said: Wherefore the law is holy, and the commandment holy, and just and good (Romans 7:12).
How does our Father feel about children who love Him so much that they try their hardest to obey and please Him? Let's start with the perfect child, the Most High's Firstborn, who walked in a temporary fleshly tabernacle without sin, Jesus the Anointed:
During Jesus' baptism: And lo voice from heaven, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased (Matt. 3:17).
During Jesus' transfiguration: While he yet spake, behold, a bright "cloud" overshadowed them: and behold a voice came out of the "cloud", which said, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased; hear ye him (17:5).
God loves His children and hopes that none of them perish (decide to stop loving and obeying Him and so eventually lose His Spirit--spiritual abortion):
Even so it is not the will of your Father which is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish (18:14).
Examples of other Spirit-begotten children with whom our Father was pleased (through the word of the Son, who was the one to actually speak with all servants of God):
Moses: And he said, Hear now my words: If there be a prophet among you, I Jehovah will make myself known unto him in a vision, and will speak unto him in a dream.
My servant Moses is not so, who is faithful in all mine house. With him will I speak mouth to mouth, even apparently, and not in dark speeches; and the similitude of Jehovah shall he behold: wherefore then were ye not afraid to speak against my servant Moses? (Num. 12:6-8).
Abraham: And I will make thy seed to multiply as the stars of heaven, and will give unto thy seed all these countries; and in thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed; 5 Because that Abraham obeyed my voice, and kept my charge, my commandments, my statutes, and my laws (Gen. 26:4-5).
David: But now thy kingdom shall not continue: Jehovah hath sought him a man after his own heart, and Jehovah hath commanded him to be captain over his people, because thou hast not kept that which Jehovah commanded thee (I Sam. 13:14).
And David my servant shall be king over them; and they all shall have one shepherd: they shall also walk in my judgments, and observe my statutes, and do them (Ezek. 37:24).
And he walked in all the sins of his father, which he had done before him: and his heart was not perfect with Jehovah his God, as the heart of David his father (I Kings 15:3).
All children of God should love their Father the same way which all children of God in the past have loved their Father, which is the same way Jesus did:
My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous: And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for our's only, but also for the sins of the whole world. And hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments. He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But whoso keepeth his word, in him verily is the love of God perfected: hereby know we that we are in him. He that saith he abideth in him (Jesus) ought himself also so to walk, even as he walked (I John 2:1-6)
Our Father loves us and gives us good law, just as we say we love our children and say that we give them good rules. We naturally want our children to love us back by following those rules so that all goes well. And what we really want is for our children to be as righteous as they can be so that we can reward them. Most parents ENJOY rewarding their children. Our Father has promised to send rewards with the Firstborn, so that when the Firstborn returns to establish our Father's Kingdom, those who deserve rewards will receive them.
And behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work shall be (Rev. 22:12).
And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea. And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful. And he said unto me, It is done. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely. He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son. But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death (Rev. 21:1-8).
None of us have had perfect earthly fathers. Some of us have had better than others, but none have been perfect. And most of us wish we'd have obeyed our parents more so than we did. Those of us who are children of God have the opportunity now to love a Father who IS perfect, and we have the opportunity to obey His perfect law to the best of our ability and serve it with our HEARTS.
Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded (James 4:8).
Love God with all your heart, and he will reward you from his heart.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Changing a Father's Attitude Toward His Child
Moving back to the subject of family for now...
I don't think a lot of people realize just how important a role a father plays in his children's lives. The truth of the matter is that he plays the utmost importance in the lives of each of his children, both sons and daughters.
If you have not done so yet, I highly recommend reading my biblical article A Father and His Firstborn (http://www.endtimecog.net/articles/fatherfirstborn.html).
We are living in the years leading up to the end of this age, moving closer to the tribulation and the following reign of Christ and the saints when Christ returns to establish our Father's Kingdom on this earth. One of the KEY problems in our troubled society which will lead to Israel and Judah's punishment (as well as punishment extending on all nations) is the LACK of proper fatherly duty. If you truly want to get a better grasp on this problem, please take the time to read the aforementioned article and this link: http://fathersforlife.org/divorce/chldrndiv.htm By all means, don't stop there, either. Further your research.
FATHERS! Listen! Do not run away from your duty. You are the MOST important person in your child's life after the toddler years, especially for sons. If you are discouraged and do not know how to be a good father, GET HELP. The single best resource is none other than the bible.
I empathize with all the fathers out there who really WANT to be good fathers and want to love their children and want their children to obey, but they don't know HOW to do it. I am not here to make anyone feel awful. I UNDERSTAND. I'm here to help.
The reason I understand is that we're currently undergoing a change in our own household. My husband is disadvantaged because of the way he was reared. His mother took him at the age of around 4.5 and his brother--10 years his senior--and left their father. He would go to visit his dad in the summers, but his dad usually on the other side of the country, working. (His brother didn't go visit his father.) He usually spent most of the summer each year with his paternal grandparents. His grandpa was very important to him and had the biggest impact on him of all his family members. The problem is that his grandpa was never very loving (as in giving hugs and saying "I love you, etc.), and neither was my husband's dad. When his dad was growing up, his dad's father (my husband's grandfather) worked away most of the time. I know that my father in law didn't like his father. I don't know all the reasons why, but there was obviously something wrong there. I don't think he evaluated himself, though, too closely, if at all, to ask himself what he could do differently with his two sons. My husband said that his dad didn't play much with him and that he knows his grandpa didn't play with his dad much, either. They didn't take the time to instruct their children in the ways of God, in the ways of righteousness. As a result, that whole family is awash with serious spiritual and physical problems. It just passed on from generation to generation.
My husband told me long ago (years before we married) that his family was cursed. I thought it was a strange thing to say back then, but now I know that he spoke truthfully.
The good news is that any one person in any family can BREAK the curse. They can say, "I don't want to continue to pass on this curse. I REJECT my family's ways." They can TURN from the sin and walk in the way of righteousness. This doesn't guarantee that the person's children will make the same choices, but the likelihood of them making the right choices are far higher.
My father in law is the unhappiest and most negative person I know personally. About the only person to whom he talks is my husband, because my husband chooses to love and help his father. He'll talk to me, too, and I do love and care for him, but I do not agree with his ways and choices. He doesn't socialize with anyone else and continually puts other people down. It's just a very sad thing. Spending too much time with a person like that can lead to ruin. My husband loves his father, but every time he goes around him and then I talk to him, his dad's negativity emanates from him. It rubs off, and it rubs off quickly. :-( I hope that my fil will change his outlook before his death so that he doesn't leave behind only a bad legacy. I truly love him and want the best for him.
My husband went to live with his father with summer visits to his mother, starting when he was 12. This is when I met him. His mother had been very strict, and his father was just as permissive as she was strict (and she changed later). So, my husband's life took a big turn in the wrong direction, as he started involving himself in troublesome activities.
My husband has overcome so much on his own. He has put physical distance between him and his family, and for the most part only talks to his parents.
Everything seemed fine between him and our firstborn son for the first two or three years, but then something happened. I think a large part of the problem was that our son reached the age where the father's role becomes the most important in his life...and my husband didn't know what to do.
I teach my son daily that he's to honor his father and his mother and he is to make his father glad. The very first scripture verse I ever had him to memorize was Proverbs 10:1, and I reworded it a bit from the KJV to say: A wise son makes his father glad, but a foolish son brings grief to his mother.
A child's heart should be set toward his father, to obey him. This is repeated over and over in different ways throughout the Proverbs, which I read daily to my firstborn son (a chapter a day, the whole book once every month).
But, what happens if the father doesn't know how to be a father, and so the child's heart and actions are not fully obeying his father?
This is the problem I've been faced with for awhile and so have prayed.
A few nights ago, my husband humbled himself and asked ME of all people to help him. He said (not necessarily verbatim), "Help me. What do I do? I've started to resent William [our firstborn], and I know he sees that I prefer Trusten. How can I mend my relationship with him?" He does give more attention to our younger son (18.5 months). The problem we've had for quite some time is that William is not setting the example a firstborn should set, even though he is far less troublesome than my younger son is. Instead of setting the lead, he often acts like a baby. We've both tried time and again to get him to understand that it's not the proper way to get attention from us and that we're not impressed at all with it....all to no avail.
I asked my husband whether he wanted the TRUTH. He said, "Give it to me." I told him that he was NOT doing his job properly and that he needed to treat William better than he's been doing, because he is not nearly patient enough, and he just discourages him. He also needs to pay attention to HIM more--NOT the baby. The baby is still under my close care. He's not weaned. He doesn't talk in sentences yet. He's still a baby! Nathan needs to set an example for William and to gain his trust back and be responsible so that William will honor and respect us both properly and will set a good example--as the firstborn--for Trusten. What we have is a ROLE REVERSAL, with Will copying Trusten's actions, rather than the other way around. And it's the father's fault. But, he admitted to his problem, and he asked for help. He wanted the truth, and I gave it to him. And he has taken the steps to correct it.
And wow, I'm already seeing results. I hope this continues. I'm very proud of my husband for admitting the problem and doing something about it. He told me he has no idea how he's supposed to rear sons. But, he's learning, and he's doing! The father and son relationship is MENDING, and it's changing everything.
Fathers, uphold your responsibility to your children. If you were not instructed properly by a father, then you probably don't know how to be a good father. But, don't continue the trend. BREAK the curse. Ask someone for help. DO something. If you find yourself not liking your child, ask yourself whether YOU are the problem. And then do something about it. Change your heart (attitude) toward your child, and THEN your child's heart (attitude) toward you will change.
Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged (Colossians 3:20-21).
I don't think a lot of people realize just how important a role a father plays in his children's lives. The truth of the matter is that he plays the utmost importance in the lives of each of his children, both sons and daughters.
If you have not done so yet, I highly recommend reading my biblical article A Father and His Firstborn (http://www.endtimecog.net/articles/fatherfirstborn.html).
We are living in the years leading up to the end of this age, moving closer to the tribulation and the following reign of Christ and the saints when Christ returns to establish our Father's Kingdom on this earth. One of the KEY problems in our troubled society which will lead to Israel and Judah's punishment (as well as punishment extending on all nations) is the LACK of proper fatherly duty. If you truly want to get a better grasp on this problem, please take the time to read the aforementioned article and this link: http://fathersforlife.org/divorce/chldrndiv.htm By all means, don't stop there, either. Further your research.
FATHERS! Listen! Do not run away from your duty. You are the MOST important person in your child's life after the toddler years, especially for sons. If you are discouraged and do not know how to be a good father, GET HELP. The single best resource is none other than the bible.
I empathize with all the fathers out there who really WANT to be good fathers and want to love their children and want their children to obey, but they don't know HOW to do it. I am not here to make anyone feel awful. I UNDERSTAND. I'm here to help.
The reason I understand is that we're currently undergoing a change in our own household. My husband is disadvantaged because of the way he was reared. His mother took him at the age of around 4.5 and his brother--10 years his senior--and left their father. He would go to visit his dad in the summers, but his dad usually on the other side of the country, working. (His brother didn't go visit his father.) He usually spent most of the summer each year with his paternal grandparents. His grandpa was very important to him and had the biggest impact on him of all his family members. The problem is that his grandpa was never very loving (as in giving hugs and saying "I love you, etc.), and neither was my husband's dad. When his dad was growing up, his dad's father (my husband's grandfather) worked away most of the time. I know that my father in law didn't like his father. I don't know all the reasons why, but there was obviously something wrong there. I don't think he evaluated himself, though, too closely, if at all, to ask himself what he could do differently with his two sons. My husband said that his dad didn't play much with him and that he knows his grandpa didn't play with his dad much, either. They didn't take the time to instruct their children in the ways of God, in the ways of righteousness. As a result, that whole family is awash with serious spiritual and physical problems. It just passed on from generation to generation.
My husband told me long ago (years before we married) that his family was cursed. I thought it was a strange thing to say back then, but now I know that he spoke truthfully.
The good news is that any one person in any family can BREAK the curse. They can say, "I don't want to continue to pass on this curse. I REJECT my family's ways." They can TURN from the sin and walk in the way of righteousness. This doesn't guarantee that the person's children will make the same choices, but the likelihood of them making the right choices are far higher.
My father in law is the unhappiest and most negative person I know personally. About the only person to whom he talks is my husband, because my husband chooses to love and help his father. He'll talk to me, too, and I do love and care for him, but I do not agree with his ways and choices. He doesn't socialize with anyone else and continually puts other people down. It's just a very sad thing. Spending too much time with a person like that can lead to ruin. My husband loves his father, but every time he goes around him and then I talk to him, his dad's negativity emanates from him. It rubs off, and it rubs off quickly. :-( I hope that my fil will change his outlook before his death so that he doesn't leave behind only a bad legacy. I truly love him and want the best for him.
My husband went to live with his father with summer visits to his mother, starting when he was 12. This is when I met him. His mother had been very strict, and his father was just as permissive as she was strict (and she changed later). So, my husband's life took a big turn in the wrong direction, as he started involving himself in troublesome activities.
My husband has overcome so much on his own. He has put physical distance between him and his family, and for the most part only talks to his parents.
Everything seemed fine between him and our firstborn son for the first two or three years, but then something happened. I think a large part of the problem was that our son reached the age where the father's role becomes the most important in his life...and my husband didn't know what to do.
I teach my son daily that he's to honor his father and his mother and he is to make his father glad. The very first scripture verse I ever had him to memorize was Proverbs 10:1, and I reworded it a bit from the KJV to say: A wise son makes his father glad, but a foolish son brings grief to his mother.
A child's heart should be set toward his father, to obey him. This is repeated over and over in different ways throughout the Proverbs, which I read daily to my firstborn son (a chapter a day, the whole book once every month).
But, what happens if the father doesn't know how to be a father, and so the child's heart and actions are not fully obeying his father?
This is the problem I've been faced with for awhile and so have prayed.
A few nights ago, my husband humbled himself and asked ME of all people to help him. He said (not necessarily verbatim), "Help me. What do I do? I've started to resent William [our firstborn], and I know he sees that I prefer Trusten. How can I mend my relationship with him?" He does give more attention to our younger son (18.5 months). The problem we've had for quite some time is that William is not setting the example a firstborn should set, even though he is far less troublesome than my younger son is. Instead of setting the lead, he often acts like a baby. We've both tried time and again to get him to understand that it's not the proper way to get attention from us and that we're not impressed at all with it....all to no avail.
I asked my husband whether he wanted the TRUTH. He said, "Give it to me." I told him that he was NOT doing his job properly and that he needed to treat William better than he's been doing, because he is not nearly patient enough, and he just discourages him. He also needs to pay attention to HIM more--NOT the baby. The baby is still under my close care. He's not weaned. He doesn't talk in sentences yet. He's still a baby! Nathan needs to set an example for William and to gain his trust back and be responsible so that William will honor and respect us both properly and will set a good example--as the firstborn--for Trusten. What we have is a ROLE REVERSAL, with Will copying Trusten's actions, rather than the other way around. And it's the father's fault. But, he admitted to his problem, and he asked for help. He wanted the truth, and I gave it to him. And he has taken the steps to correct it.
And wow, I'm already seeing results. I hope this continues. I'm very proud of my husband for admitting the problem and doing something about it. He told me he has no idea how he's supposed to rear sons. But, he's learning, and he's doing! The father and son relationship is MENDING, and it's changing everything.
Fathers, uphold your responsibility to your children. If you were not instructed properly by a father, then you probably don't know how to be a good father. But, don't continue the trend. BREAK the curse. Ask someone for help. DO something. If you find yourself not liking your child, ask yourself whether YOU are the problem. And then do something about it. Change your heart (attitude) toward your child, and THEN your child's heart (attitude) toward you will change.
Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged (Colossians 3:20-21).
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Happy Sabbath
Happy Sabbath to all who are reading. I won't be writing blog entries on the sabbath. As a servant of God and co-laborer with Him, I do usually write each sabbath, while resting from the week's regular work, but it will be a break each sabbath from the blog. :-)
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